Virtual insanity

I am no longer sure of my existence.

I'm not saying that in a Descartes "I think therefore I am" kind of way. Admittedly I spend a lot of time sitting around in a chair wondering if television is real or just some kind of horrible nightmare inflicted upon me by demons, but if you start thinking down those lines you're only going to end up pouring yoghurt into your electricity sockets in an attempt to stop the unicorns spying on you from their parallel universe.

No, it's not reality that is causing me existential issues, but the world wide web.

As you may imagine I spend a great part of my day online, probably more than I spend doing anything else and I have realised that not only is there such a thing as an online community, but a whole online subculture which has seeped into other aspects of life. For instance do you know who the Numa Numa guy is? Have you seen The Website is Down? Do you think we really should leave Britney alone?

The internet really has become its own nation, with its own language (lolz!), residents (how many more Facebook friends do you have than friends you actually see even once a year?) and culture (no noobz). This can become a bit weird when you meet someone for the first time and find that you're both fans of Weebl and Bob, leading most people listening in on your conversation to assume you're in some kind of bizarre pastry version of the masons.

The problem is the internet is so unbelievably vast (they say it's beyond the capacity of the human mind to comprehend the size of the universe, I reckon that's child's play compared to trying to visualise all the z-list actors listed on IMDB). So where do you start? As you may notice on the right of this entry is a handy list of links labelled 'we read' (the royal we obviously) chosen from my personal favourites, and I thought it was about time I explained my choices.

XKCD - This one is really for all the geeks out there, with jokes on subjects ranging from programming to velociraptors. If you don't get the first one don't give up, there are lots of funny strips in the archive and if you hover your mouse over each one you get an extra little punchline.

Snopes - The internet is full of myths and downright lies (think about it - even Wikipedia is edited by people like that strange neighbour you have who feeds Bovril to his cat, how much actual knowledge do you think he's got underneath that inside-out cardigan?). Snopes is a reliable way to find out if Janice from the office's husband's friend's cousin's cleaner really did eat live sushi and grow an octopus in their stomach or if she's a liar who used all the communal milk on her Coco Pops.

Uncyclopedia - For my money the best example of the internet creating something joyous by communal contribution. From parody to simple surrealism, this site pokes fun at nearly any topic you can think of. If you ever watched He-Man as a child I highly recommend the Skeletor entry.

Mojo magazine online - Pretty much the last music magazine which seems to be about music rather than a vanity project for its reporters. Excellent online features perfectly complement the hard copy.

The Idler online - As you may have guessed by now I'm a man who enjoys simple pleasures, and they don't get much more simple than idling. The originators of Crap Towns and ardent promoters of ukulele playing, I can't recommend these chaps enough.

The Framley Examiner - "Let's party" demands clockwork rapscallion. There's not much more to say about this near-perfect parody of local newspapers (of course the Harrow Observer is of much higher quality...).

So there it is, you won't learn much, you'll probably waste a lot of time you meant to spend doing something productive and no one will know what you're talking about if you try to explain it to them. But that's the internet for you, and if you have to exist somewhere it might as well be here.