You say it best, when you say nothing at all

If I told you I felt pheromonaly and spiritually compatible with you would you let me interlace our digits?

Or, in other words, if I told you I loved you would you let me hold your hand?

The beauty of the English language is that there are many ways you can express yourself and describe everything from a glorious sunset to a tiny atomic particle. The downside of this though is that you can use a lot of pointless words to say absolutely nothing.

The Local Government Association recently published a list of 200 words and phrases which councils should avoid using, as they are considered jargon.

Having trawled through my fair (and often unfair) share of unreadable council agendas I agree wholeheartedly with this list, but why stop at local authorities? With one great push we could remove objectionable phrases such as 'blue sky thinking' or 'thinking outside the box' from usage all together.

And while we're at it I've got a few more choice bits of our lexicon which I think myself and the other Word Police (all self-appointed) could crack down on. I'm not necessarily saying these words and phrases should be banned completely, just not used in ways that make you want to drop pianos on the orator:

Basically - Nobody who starts any statement or explanation with the word 'basically' ever goes on to actually say anything basic. This word normally precedes a long, incomprehensible rambling, which could so easily have been edited down to one succinct sentence.

Inappropriate - This word has been misappropriated so much it no longer holds any meaning. It is a favourite tactic among cowardly politicians to accuse people of being 'inappropriate' when said people are doing something they don't like - normally objecting to, or pointing out flaws in, their ideas. This tactic means the accuser doesn't have to explain what they don't like about the other's actions, and it saves them from having to address any issues which may have arisen as a result.

exciting - Jumping off waterfalls is exciting. Learning to fly a plane is exciting. Fighting a genetically engineered giraffe-eagle hybrid is exciting. Rolling out strategies, compiling spreadsheets or completing workstation safety assessments is not exciting, and it never will be, however much you repeat the word.

Needless to say - If something really is needless to say then you don't need to say it do you? Simple.

These are just a few of my suggestions for inclusion on the list. I haven't quite decided what punishment should be prescribed to misusers, but I imagine it would involve a dictionary and that bizarre eye-opening device from A Clockwork Orange.

Feel free to add your suggestions below and together we can create a better, more intolerant world.