Recently in The joy of web Category

I am no longer sure of my existence.

I'm not saying that in a Descartes "I think therefore I am" kind of way. Admittedly I spend a lot of time sitting around in a chair wondering if television is real or just some kind of horrible nightmare inflicted upon me by demons, but if you start thinking down those lines you're only going to end up pouring yoghurt into your electricity sockets in an attempt to stop the unicorns spying on you from their parallel universe.

No, it's not reality that is causing me existential issues, but the world wide web.

As you may imagine I spend a great part of my day online, probably more than I spend doing anything else and I have realised that not only is there such a thing as an online community, but a whole online subculture which has seeped into other aspects of life. For instance do you know who the Numa Numa guy is? Have you seen The Website is Down? Do you think we really should leave Britney alone?

The internet really has become its own nation, with its own language (lolz!), residents (how many more Facebook friends do you have than friends you actually see even once a year?) and culture (no noobz). This can become a bit weird when you meet someone for the first time and find that you're both fans of Weebl and Bob, leading most people listening in on your conversation to assume you're in some kind of bizarre pastry version of the masons.

The problem is the internet is so unbelievably vast (they say it's beyond the capacity of the human mind to comprehend the size of the universe, I reckon that's child's play compared to trying to visualise all the z-list actors listed on IMDB). So where do you start? As you may notice on the right of this entry is a handy list of links labelled 'we read' (the royal we obviously) chosen from my personal favourites, and I thought it was about time I explained my choices.

XKCD - This one is really for all the geeks out there, with jokes on subjects ranging from programming to velociraptors. If you don't get the first one don't give up, there are lots of funny strips in the archive and if you hover your mouse over each one you get an extra little punchline.

Snopes - The internet is full of myths and downright lies (think about it - even Wikipedia is edited by people like that strange neighbour you have who feeds Bovril to his cat, how much actual knowledge do you think he's got underneath that inside-out cardigan?). Snopes is a reliable way to find out if Janice from the office's husband's friend's cousin's cleaner really did eat live sushi and grow an octopus in their stomach or if she's a liar who used all the communal milk on her Coco Pops.

Uncyclopedia - For my money the best example of the internet creating something joyous by communal contribution. From parody to simple surrealism, this site pokes fun at nearly any topic you can think of. If you ever watched He-Man as a child I highly recommend the Skeletor entry.

Mojo magazine online - Pretty much the last music magazine which seems to be about music rather than a vanity project for its reporters. Excellent online features perfectly complement the hard copy.

The Idler online - As you may have guessed by now I'm a man who enjoys simple pleasures, and they don't get much more simple than idling. The originators of Crap Towns and ardent promoters of ukulele playing, I can't recommend these chaps enough.

The Framley Examiner - "Let's party" demands clockwork rapscallion. There's not much more to say about this near-perfect parody of local newspapers (of course the Harrow Observer is of much higher quality...).

So there it is, you won't learn much, you'll probably waste a lot of time you meant to spend doing something productive and no one will know what you're talking about if you try to explain it to them. But that's the internet for you, and if you have to exist somewhere it might as well be here.

I was somewhat saddened yesterday to see that US comedian George Carlin had died.
He's probably best known in this country for his role as Rufus in the Bill and Ted films, but he was a really funny standup and one of the few who managed to stay sharp as he grew older.
His most famous routine was probably The Seven Words You Can Never Say on TV, which managed to make an interesting point about the strength of language, whilst still being utterly hilarious. Now I'm not going to suggest you go out seeking a profanity-filled performance (somebody has to think of the children), but I also can't stop you Googling Carlin and finding a rendition on, say, Youtube.
The whole thing got me thinking about censorship and the dangers of letting people say whatever they like (see how I seamlessly introduced this topic? You couldn't see the joins with a microscope).
With our web forums, although we can keep an eye on them and take down anything offensive if it appears, we still can't regulate them 24/7. With this in mind it seems the programmers who built the forum software created a list of banned words which are automatically replaced by asterisks if any scurrilous rogue tries to write them.
Many of these words are perfectly understandable and the sort of thing which would have made Mary Whitehouse turn an odd shade of purple and smack you with her handbag. However, some of them are somewhat more mysterious and I feel we may have become a bit overzealous in our attempts to make Harrow profanity-free.
The strangest example of this, which is coincidentally quite relevant today, is the fact that you can't write 'John Leslie' on our forum. Now I know he's reportedly been a bit of a scoundrel, but you can still happily discuss Hitler, Robert Mugabe or even Simon Cowell with no fear of censorship.
I don't know who particularly picked on Leslie (and I hope I'm not accidentally creating mass offence every time I repeat his name), but the logical conclusion is that he is to programmers what Macbeth is to actors. I can only assume therefore that he's known online as 'The Scottish rogue' or something similar.
If anyone has any other celebrities they think should be blanked out I would love to hear from you and will consider all entries.

Who would have thought running a website would be so much work? I thought you just set these things up, sit back and enjoy the show. Not so apparently.
The best way I can describe it is like running round a vast mansion opening doors, sweeping away rapidly settling dust and cobwebs and shouting into rooms to see if anyone is there. If you leave a room too long it rapidly starts to look old and abandoned.
Our site has so many exciting, fun and diverse sections that constantly need attention to keep them fresh and full of the most up to date information.
This is where you, dear reader, come in. Currently there are a few of you wandering in the hallways, inspecting the silverware or admiring the drapes. But we're not that formal here - write on the walls, jump on the bed, give everything a try and soon you'll be shaking any dust off yourselves.
We have already had plenty of people sending in their stories and pictures and posting in the forum, but I want more.
So please, you've come this far, just pop along to our forum sign up (it takes less than a minute) and leave a post. It can be anything, whatever's on your mind, or reply to something someone else has said. With your help we can turn this mansion into a palace.

With a crash of thunder, a blinding flash and the click of a mouse the Harrow Observer's website has been officially brought to life.
Myself and a dedicated team of technical boffins, not many of whom were called Igor, have spent a long week tweaking dials, flipping switches and definitely not graverobbing, to get the site up and lumbering. We have now released it into your community and are nervously watching from the battlements in the hope it's not greeted with burning torches and pitchforks.
To be honest I'm very proud of the site, to the extent where I have recently been boring the eyebrows off all my friends with talk of how I've spent the day 'embedding links' or 'updating the hyperlocals'.
As with all big new projects a couple of the bolts have worked loose here and there and caused mild levels of panic or frustration as we work to screw them back in, but in all it is now running like a charm.
So don't be afraid, we haven't created a monster, but a digital gentleman who never sleeps (so can't dream of electric sheep). Now I've just got to see if he can make friends...

Prepare the guillotines, lock up your royals and let's all eat cake - there's a revolution going on.

But before you go lighting your flaming torches (and I stretch this metaphor past breaking point), I must confess this revolution is entirely digital.

We at the Harrow Observer have just launched the brand-spanking-shiny-and-all-round-spiffingly-new 24-hour website for the Harrow Observer newspaper series.

No longer does news have to come off on your fingers or line your rabbit hutch (unless you have a particularly tech-savvy rabbit), for now we will be bringing you the latest news from Harrow and the surrounding communities 24-hours a day. As the Harrow Observer's Multimedia Content Editor I will be updating the site, managaing the forums and comments and encouraging you to get involved. Being British it is nearly impossible for me to get excited without sounding either sarcastic or like I'm trying to sell something, but really, I am excited, and you should be too. We have also launched a number of community websites which we hope you will take control of, posting your own pictures, videos, telling your neighbours about clubs you run. We want you to write about the issues that affect you and set your own news agenda.

It's no use me getting excited on my own - I could chat with myself on the forums, post pictures of me in a variety of hats and upload my own version of Jurassic Park made on my camera phone, but then we might as well call it the Tom Observer (actually that does rather have a ring to it...). So please, put aside your bowler hat and unstiffen your top lip for five minutes and have an explore round the site and hopefully you will get excited too. Then let me know what you think - post on the forums, send in a picture, email me asking for a blog. At the risk of sounding so non-British I may break out in stars and stripes, this really is your site and you can make it, so please get involved.

Right, that's quite enough bells and whistles, I'm going to readjust my bowler and head off to the forums to discuss Harrow's cricketing prospects, see you there...